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Writer's pictureDonna Burfield

Self-love vs Self-care - Are You Practicing Self-Love or Selfishness? Check Out These Warning Signs

Self-love and self-care are two important practices that can greatly benefit our mental and physical well-being. While the two terms are often used interchangeably, they actually refer to different concepts. Understanding the differences between self-love and self-care can help us better prioritize our needs and take care of ourselves more effectively.


Self-love is the practice of treating oneself with kindness, compassion, and acceptance. It involves having a positive self-image and accepting oneself for who we are, flaws and all. Self-love involves recognizing and honoring our own needs and desires, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion. It's about treating ourselves the way we would treat a close friend or loved one. Some examples of self-love practices include affirmations, journaling, and gratitude.


On the other hand, self-care refers to the deliberate and intentional actions we take to maintain our physical, emotional, and mental health. It involves activities that promote relaxation, stress reduction, and overall well-being. Self-care practices can include activities like exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and taking breaks from work or other stressors. It's about making time for ourselves and prioritizing our own needs.


While self-love and self-care are related concepts, they serve different purposes. Self-love is about developing a positive relationship with ourselves, while self-care is about taking practical steps to care for our well-being. Both are important practices that can support our overall health and happiness.


As we focus more on the importance of self-love, it's important to remember that there's a thin line between loving yourself and being selfish. Here are some warning signs that indicate when self-love may have crossed the line into selfishness:


  1. You prioritize your own needs and wants above others, without considering their feelings or needs.

  2. You become defensive or angry when others suggest you might be acting selfishly.

  3. You consistently put your own interests above the interests of the group or community you're a part of.

  4. You're unwilling to compromise or collaborate with others.

  5. You're constantly seeking validation and praise from others, rather than feeling secure in your own worth.


Remember, self-love should be about building yourself up without tearing others down. Let's strive to find a healthy balance between self-care and consideration for those around us.


Reputable websites that offer resources on self-love and self-care include:


Psychology Today - This website offers articles, blogs, and resources related to mental health and well-being, including tips for practicing self-care and developing self-love.


Healthline - Healthline is a popular website that provides health and wellness information, including tips for self-care and self-love.


The Mighty - The Mighty is a website that provides resources and support for people living with mental illness, chronic illness, and disability. They offer articles and personal stories that can inspire and encourage self-love and self-care practices.


So, in conclusion, self-love and self-care are two important practices that can greatly benefit our mental and physical well-being. While they are related concepts, they serve different purposes. By practicing self-love and self-care, we can prioritize our own needs, reduce stress, and improve our overall health and happiness.



Donna Burfield is a licensed coach and founder of Joy and Purpose Coaching, Coaches Supporting Coaches - Dubai, and CSC Certified Coaches Group. She helps parents prioritize their family's well-being, strengthen parenting skills, and set boundaries using easy and effective tools. Donna also supports a coaching community to collaborate, inspire, and develop professionally. She connects coaches with experts to build ethical and professional coaching businesses, including legal, business licenses, insurance, and website building.


For more info and to get in touch:

1. NEW for Coaches - Discuss & Grow (1:1 or small groups)

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